Tag Archives: Social Interactions

Question?: Autistic Angry Outbursts

David asks…

what should i do about my autistic boyfriend..?

Well, before you try and tell me I’m limiting myself don’t even bother I don’t care what you say to me i’m not leaving him! If your going to be mean then get off this question because if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.

I’m 15, turning 16 soon and my boyfriend is 17. He has a job, and I love him. He’s good looking, hes the whole package but he does have a few problems due to mild autism i guess? you wouldn’t be able to tell he’s slightly autistic by looking at him, but mentally there are a few flaws i wanted to talk about today…

if he says something or breaks something or does something i’m not happy with i might get a bit angry and/or annoyed like any other girlfriend would right? but he gets all scared and he crawls in a corner and won’t come near me unless i offer a cuddle or a kiss.. or if i just stand there he grabbed my leg and cuddles my leg… at first i thought this was adorable but now it’s starting to worry me slightly… i know i don’t get or look to angry so why does he get so scared? i’ve tried talking to him but it doesn’t help…

i mean, there are so many things i love about him, but there are also a few problems like this which are unusual…

any advice..?

thanks
heather? – don’t try and make it sound like i’m bothered. i’m “WORRIED”
kimmi, your missing the point that i am worried there is a deeper problem somewhere… for god sake i’m only 16 stop making me feel so guilty i’ve been there for him

admin answers:

Amy Rose, can I commend you, as another poster has also done so, in that you have been mature enough at this age to see past what some might see as an obstacle.

It seems like you have genuine feelings for this guy, you love him, and more importantly, you are smart enough to recognise an issue that needs attention, and you want to figure out how to work at it.

People with autism have problems with social interactions, and have difficulties controlling/reading emotions in the natural way that say you or I do. What that means, is that even the slightest bit of anger, may seem very scary to your boyfriend. He cannot pick up that you’re not being very angry, he just knows that something bad happened.

There could be an underlying issue from his past that could be causing him to behave in this way and maybe that is something that you could talk to him about.

I think the best advice I can give you, is to be completely 100 per cent direct with your boyfriend. If you are annoyed about something he does, stop and think if it is within his control or not. If it is something that you genuinely think he can prevent himself from doing, then it is worth discussing. But sometimes these outbursts can be a cause of lack of control in difficult situations so you do need to be very tactful. Speak to him directly about your concerns, what it is that annoys you, but just do your best to try not to be too negative, as that may affect his self esteem.

Good luck I really hope you work things out.

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Question?: Autism Signs In Adults

Maria asks…

What would autistic parents teach an autistic child?

Autism is a mutation in the brain, and mutations can be either helpful or harmful (mutations are what brought mankind to where it is today). Suppose for a moment that we all see autism as normal yet different from what is socially normal. How would autistic people live in a society where everyone is also autistic? How would they interact, and what would they teach each other? What would career environments be like? How would homes be built? What would be valued, and what wouldn’t be?

What would the autistic life be like?
This is what I am trying to ask.

I don’t believe autism should be seen as a “disorder” or a handicap but rather a different way of thinking and different behavior.
I read in Times magazine that autistic people have less “grey matter” and more “white matter” in their brains, and that’s why there has to be a mutation in their genes that makes it that way.
And to the person who says that it’s a disorder and that autistic people cannot compete with the rest of society, what I am stating is: what if they didn’t have to compete and had dominance in society?

admin answers:

Autism is NOT a mutation in the brain. When looking at fMRI scans and regular MRI scans, you will NOT find some defining anomoly characteristic of autism.

Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities. One should keep in mind however, that autism is a spectrum disorder and it affects each individual differently and at varying degrees – this is why early diagnosis is so crucial. By learning the signs, a child can begin benefiting from one of the many specialized intervention programs (see treatment and education).

And you are right, it should not be considered a disorder. It only is due to social standards created today. Austistic people are just different. They use their brain differently, and sometimes very uniquely. Like the Rain Man.

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Question?: Autism Symptoms In Adults

Donald asks…

How can you tell if some one has autism?

What are the symptoms?

admin answers:

Autism – Symptoms
Core symptoms
The severity of symptoms varies greatly between individuals, but all people with autism have some core symptoms in the areas of:

Social interactions and relationships. Symptoms may include:
Significant problems developing nonverbal communication skills, such as eye-to-eye gazing, facial expressions, and body posture.
Failure to establish friendships with children the same age.
Lack of interest in sharing enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people.
Lack of empathy. People with autism may have difficulty understanding another person’s feelings, such as pain or sorrow.
Verbal and nonverbal communication. Symptoms may include:
Delay in, or lack of, learning to talk. As many as 40% of people with autism never speak.1
Problems taking steps to start a conversation. Also, people with autism have difficulties continuing a conversation after it has begun.
Stereotyped and repetitive use of language. People with autism often repeat over and over a phrase they have heard previously (echolalia).
Difficulty understanding their listener’s perspective. For example, a person with autism may not understand that someone is using humor. They may interpret the communication word for word and fail to catch the implied meaning.
Limited interests in activities or play. Symptoms may include:
An unusual focus on pieces. Younger children with autism often focus on parts of toys, such as the wheels on a car, rather than playing with the entire toy.
Preoccupation with certain topics. For example, older children and adults may be fascinated by video games, trading cards, or license plates.
A need for sameness and routines. For example, a child with autism may always need to eat bread before salad and insist on driving the same route every day to school.
Stereotyped behaviors. These may include body rocking and hand flapping.

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Question?: Rett Syndrome Research

Ruth asks…

What is difference betweeen these types of autism….?

Core autism and atypical autism
if you have used resources please state its for case study.
Thanks

admin answers:

A simple Google will find many sources on the web. In this way you will be able to find what you want and what fits your research. In the mean time here are a few of the many types of autism.
Autistic disorder. This is what most people think of when they hear the word “autism.” It refers to problems with social interactions, communication and imaginative play in children younger than 3 years.
Asperger’s syndrome. These children don’t have a problem with language — in fact, they tend to score in the average or above-average range on intelligence tests. But they have the same social problems and limited scope of interests as children with autistic disorder.
Pervasive developmental disorder or PDD — also known as atypical autism. This is a kind of catchall category for children who have some autistic problems but who don’t fit into other categories.
Rett’s disorder. Known to occur only in girls, Rett’s children begin to develop normally. Then they begin to lose their communication and social skills. Beginning at the age of 1 to 4 years, repetitive hand movements replace purposeful use of the hands.
Childhood disintegrative disorder. These children develop normally for at least two years, and then lose some or most of their communication and social skills.

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Question?: Pdd-nos Checklist

Laura asks…

3 year old daughter’s speech. Need other parents’ advice!?

A few days ago, I read a book titled, “The Einstein Syndrome: Bright Children Who Talk Late” by Thomas Sowell. The book is of course about children who don’t speak or speak very little until they are between 2-4 years old. It emphasizes that bright children also can begin to speak very early, but (focuses on those who do not.)

My daughter is nearly 3. She does not carry on a conversation with anyone, points to most things she wants or we have to “read” her to pick up on what she needs. She sings the alphabet song, counts 1-20, says some sentences that I can comprehend but other sentences I cannot understand. Most times, I only know she is speaking actual sentences when she is going along with what she has “memorized” from commercials or movies while watching them- sometimes she just sits down and recites the movies and commercials from memory, although her words “jumble” together to the point where someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t know she was actually talking. She also loves to cuddle, hug, and play with other children, and she seems to understand some commands very well, and at other times she does not.

I read in the above book that “experts” are too quick to label a child “slow”, autistic, or as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder when the child is only highly intelligent, strong willed, or just going at his or her own time-frame when it comes to social interactions and learning the practicalities of everyday life. Many of the late talkers in his study grew up to be engineers, mathematicians, or in other fields which require significant analytical skills. I am not suggesting that my daughter will be a genius. I just have a feeling that she should be allowed to “prosper” naturally. Certain people-those who haven’t had children in 30-60 years and one controlling, passive aggressive doctor (forgive me God for the criticism) who wouldn’t respect my questions and suggestions as a parent-think she needs help! I know that there are excellent professionals out there but, if there are any PARENTS with similar children, I would love your input! I have already read about parents of adult children who had similar “difficulties” as children and had no medical intervention; those adults are doing well.

I do not want to overlook a “problem” that may in fact exist. I am very nervous about taking my daughter to a specialist who may interpret a problem where there is none. I know I’m probably answering my own question, but…

What do you think?
A specialist can’t always tell the difference in my opinion, but thank you soooo much Sari Lynn for your insight!
Thank you Happymomof2. All I can say is that I know what you mean about worrying when I shouldn’t and being made to feel that what is actually “normal” is a delay or problem. I know I shouldn’t worry. My gut tells me everything is okay. It’s only an insecurity that gets me to ask for other people’s opinions about my daughter. I am a stay at home mom and will continue to work with her in a steady fashion. I know she will “catch up!”
Lauren R, I will surely take your advice! Thanks for the info! I worry about being impressionable and influenced if I were to find services available to my daughter, but realizing that I would be in total control of her health and safety help me to not be afraid to work with the professionals if I have to!
ADDED: In the meantime, why don’t you read information from reputable, science-based sources rather than pop-culture sensationalistic books (see below for links).
The Einstein story makes me crazy: Einstein was a genius in one particular area, but a total incompetent in many social (communication!) areas,~Anonymous

Anonymous, it seems as though you’re trying to be “kind” in your response. But, I don’t feel comfortable. I worry enough about my daughter, which is why I’m afraid to go to a specialist who may refer to her as “incompetent”! So, what would that make the specialist? Maybe she does need speech therapy, but I will be sure not to go to someone who labels her “incompetent”! Who says you do well in all your social interactions with others-you just learn to disguise your “fumbles” through the way you’ve learned to communicate!
I stated “I know that there are excellent professionals out there but, if there are any PARENTS with SIMILAR children, I would love your input!”
EDIT: THANK YOU so much for your post Beetlemilk. I will take heed to and look into all the info you have given me!

admin answers:

You are the foremost expert on your child, not any doctor.

I am very similar to your daughter and am 38 yrs old. My father has similarities too. In 1975 I was referred to a behavioral psychologist for peculiar vernacular, and addressing my parents by their names and not pronouns. I was promptly diagnosed ‘Autistic’. I went on to receive many diagnoses, most which were inaccurate like 1978’s school psychologist Stanford-Binet IQ test that resulted in mentally retarded. An independent test I hit the ceiling and was diagnosed as super gifted. I am very bright, I have some social quirks, its functional. I’ve gotten married, had children, held a job, drive, graduated many times from college. I’ve been diagnosed 7x as autistic, 3 were diagnosed asperger’s.

My father was diagnosed Autistic in 1950. He is a director and psychologist for a residential autistic setting. He is thrice times married. He is gifted, has a rather flat affect most of the time and is difficult to engage in conversation. He was hyperlexic, reading @ age 2. He is asperger’s and was diagnosed in 1988 when I was.

I have a son diagnosed autistic and I disagree. Autism like ADHD is a catch-all diagnoses that is over diagnosed. My son has been dx ADHD as well. Really, he’s bipolar. (my background is a psych nurse for years)

Einstein was autistic and that doesn’t fit at least 299.00 or Autistic disorder. More like Bill Gates who is asperger’s.

Engineers and mathematicians are among the highest fields of autistic people in them, some studies say 20%. (My father’s father was an engineer, his mother was a CPA so math). My mother was bipolar, her mother was a mathematician.

Here’s what we know:
Your daughter is bright
She has an incredible rote memory
conversation skills are her area of weakness
she is using some delayed echolalia

Probably she would be diagnosed as on the autistic spectrum given the above and the overdiagnoses of it.

Help? What kind of help? She doesn’t need any help. I’m fine, my father is fine, my brother (dx PDD.NOS) is fine (information tech-computers). She can talk, and the articulation will come. What you can work on with her is conversation skills. Try to get some back and forth. Playdates 1:1.

My sons all get services but they are needed. I ignore a lot of what I don’t feel fits.

Intelligence testing is inaccurate for those without enough language to complete them, and they are inaccurate before age 6. I’ve scored a 56, 147-163 (7x)

http://asplanet.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=29&Itemid=63

So here are signs of asperger’s big deal.
Aspie Adult checklist (Alyson Bradley / www.asplanet.info – Sept. 2008 / updated May 2009):
1. Over think, analyze things,2. Prefer own company, 3. Obsessional interest, 4. Like routine, 5. Like rituals, 6. Collections, 7. Sensory problems, 8. Over focus on details, 9. Perfectionist, 10. Think outside the box!, 11. Cannot understand jokes, 12. Weird laugh and/or make odd noises,13. Nervous fidget, Stim, 14. Upset by crowds, shy, 15. Face doesn’t show emotion, 16. Very honest, can seem naïve, 17. Quirky, different somehow , 18. Cannot understand point of small talk, 19. Cannot understand society unwritten rules, 20. Bullied at school, work etc., 21. Lack of friends, socializing, 22. Friends much older or younger, 23. Mumbles, speaks to self, 24. Inappropriate emotions, response, 25. Connect well with animals, 26. Computer (Mr Spock) like logic, 27. Unexplained memory lapses, 28. Irregular sleeping patterns, 29. Hopeless or expert with maps, 30. Awkward, clumsy, bad body posture….

ON the site above the AS test I score a 44/50 with a score of 32 being most likely aspergers and an average female score of 11.

ETA: Sure

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Question?: Pdd Symptoms

Linda asks…

Is it possible to have severe aspergers?

Autism has a scale and aspergers is on the high end. So I know it doesn’t make sense to say severe aspergers b/c that would be equivalent to pdd or classic autism. But I have extreme difficulties in social interaction, worse than most people with aspergers…yet in all other areas i’m high functioning.

admin answers:

You’re right, asperger’s syndrome is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum but to say that someone has severe asperger’s doesn’t mean they are the same as other autism spectrum sufferers.

Asperger’s is different in that the level of linguistic and cognitive development is close to normal. This means that while a person with asperger’s will struggle with social interactions and display repetitive behaviour they do not suffer from the low functioning language or cognitive skills of other diagnoses.

Severe asperger’s means simply that the symptoms displayed (difficulty with social interactions etc.) will be more pronounced.

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Question?: Autistic Behavior

William asks…

How can the actions of an autistic / low IQ person be categorized into autistic behavior or IQ behavior.?

How can violent outbursts be broken into either autistic action vs the low IQ issues?
How can violent outbursts be broken into either autistic action vs the low IQ issues?

The man is ‘retarded’, a legal term, IQ 58. Also Autistic. Are all actions co-joined, or can some violent acts be related to his IQ or are all related to both?

admin answers:

Autism and low-IQ are significantly different things. What exactly is your question? The diagnosis would be based not on whether they have a low IQ or even whether they are aggressive, but instead on whether they meet the behavioral criteria for autism (not understanding social interactions, limited verbal skills, sensory sensitivity, etc.). Mental retardation (ok, so it’s not PC anymore, but it’s the officer term for it) is diagnosed based on completely different criteria.

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Question?: Asperger Syndrome Test

Maria asks…

Question to people who know about asperger syndrome?

I was diagnosed with asperger syndrome when I was 4. For much of my early child hood I ticked many of the boxes for asperger‘s. Now I’m 14 and I’m starting to have doubts. I don’t tick much of the boxes at all now and I’m wondering if I’ve been mis-diagnosed. I’m a very sociable person now and I function very well in social situations. Is it worth bein tested again or should I just trust what the doctor said when I was 4?

admin answers:

Alex,
You were only 4 when there was a diagnosis.

It is always good to have a second opinion. It does not hurt. I would go to another doctor that does not know your history and describe to him/her what you mention here.

You might not need a doctor. If it does not interfere with your daily life and you feel you don’t have the previous diagnoses, then I would pitch the diagnoses out the window.

Some of the symptoms of asperger syndrome
– lack of eye contact with other people
– dislike or avoid social interactions

Steve Lam
Autism Specialist
Tutors For Less

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Question?: Autism Symptoms In Adults Checklist

Nancy asks…

Help I think I got Aspergers syndrome?

Im 14 and I have a really hard time talking to people, Most of the time I just don’t talk to people because normally I try to say something and I end up making it weird by mixing my words around. I feel like I don’t think, as if I am brain dead. I have been homeschooled half my life and I am never really put into social situations and it really makes me very sad. I can’t even make smalltalk because I don’t know what to say…. I want friend’s but I feel different then them. Almost like everyone is popular and im the shy kid in the corner. I feel very depressed, Almost as if I have no thoughts ideas or imagination, I have thought over suicide and I used to cut myself but I stopped. Are these signs of aspergers or am I just depressed and really socially unskilled because or homeschooling…. Help? >:
Also I really don’t want to spend a lot of money for brain scans or whatever docters do to people. :/

admin answers:

There are plenty of symptom checklists out there, so I won’t cut and paste them for you. While most individuals with a personality disorder on the autism spectrum are diagnosed at an age younger than yourself, Asperger’s many times can go unnoticed until the individual becomes older and the necessary social interactions that go along with becoming an adult become manifest.

You don’t get brain scans (unless you want to, or are part of a study), the diagnosis is made through observation, interview with you, and with your parents (together and separately) to establish the veracity of claims, and certain patterns from childhood, and finally a battery of psychological tests, often a minimum of an IQ test (there will often be large discrepancies between VCI and PSI for instance), a personality test appropriate for age (adults often take the MMPI-2), a psych. History, etc. The depression Dx is more easily arrived at, and far more prevalent than a personality disorder, but pursue it if you believe it’s something you have. Look at the vignettes of people with the disorder and if you say to yourself “That’s me!” than you should definitely seek out a diagnostic test to rule it either in or out.

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Question?: Pdd Symptoms

Paul asks…

Can someone please explain to me in detail what Autism is?

And what the symptoms are? That would be awesome!

admin answers:

Autism is a complex developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life and is the result of a neurological disorder that affects the normal functioning of the brain, impacting development in the areas of social interaction and communication skills. Both children and adults with autism typically show difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities. One should keep in mind however, that autism is a spectrum disorder and it affects each individual differently and at varying degrees – this is why early diagnosis is so crucial. By learning the signs, a child can begin benefiting from one of the many specialized intervention programs.

Autism is one of five disorders that falls under the umbrella of Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), a category of neurological disorders characterized by “severe and pervasive impairment in several areas of development.”

Autism is a spectrum disorder, and although it is defined by a certain set of behaviors, children and adults with autism can exhibit any combination of these behaviors in any degree of severity. Two children, both with the same diagnosis, can act completely different from one another and have varying capabilities.

You may hear different terms used to describe children within this spectrum, such as autistic-like, autistic tendencies, autism spectrum, high-functioning or low-functioning autism, more-abled or less-abled; but more important than the term used to describe autism is understanding that whatever the diagnosis, children with autism can learn and function normally and show improvement with appropriate treatment and education.

Every person with autism is an individual, and like all individuals, has a unique personality and combination of characteristics. Some individuals mildly affected may exhibit only slight delays in language and greater challenges with social interactions. They may have difficulty initiating and/or maintaining a conversation. Their communication is often described as talking at others instead of to them. (For example, monologue on a favorite subject that continues despite attempts by others to interject comments).

People with autism also process and respond to information in unique ways. In some cases, aggressive and/or self-injurious behavior may be present. Persons with autism may also exhibit some of the following traits:

~Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
~Difficulty in expressing needs, using gestures or pointing instead of words
~Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
~Laughing (and/or crying) for no apparent reason showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
~Preference to being alone; aloof manner
~Tantrums
~Difficulty in mixing with others
~Not wanting to cuddle or be cuddled
~Little or no eye contact
~Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
~Sustained odd play
~Spinning objects
~Obsessive attachment to objects
~Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
~No real fears of danger
~Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
~Uneven gross/fine motor skills
~Non responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf, although hearing tests in normal range.

For most of us, the integration of our senses helps us to understand what we are experiencing. For example, our sense of touch, smell and taste work together in the experience of eating a ripe peach: the feel of the peach’s skin, its sweet smell, and the juices running down your face. For children with autism, sensory integration problems are common, which may throw their senses off they may be over or under active. The fuzz on the peach may actually be experienced as painful and the smell may make the child gag. Some children with autism are particularly sensitive to sound, finding even the most ordinary daily noises painful. Many professionals feel that some of the typical autism behaviors, like the ones listed above, are actually a result of sensory integration difficulties.

There are also many myths and misconceptions about autism. Contrary to popular belief, many autistic children do make eye contact; it just may be less often or different from a non-autistic child. Many children with autism can develop good functional language and others can develop some type of communication skills, such as sign language or use of pictures. Children do not “outgrow” autism but symptoms may lessen as the child develops and receives treatment.

One of the most devastating myths about autistic children is that they cannot show affection. While sensory stimulation is processed differently in some children, they can and do give affection. However, it may require patience on the parents’ part to accept and give love in the child’s terms.

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