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Question?: Angry Autistic Kids

Thomas asks…

Need help if my three year old sounds autistic?

Hello I have a three year old, that has recently been tested for autism, but came back inconclusive for a number of reasons i.e. When asking me about my sons communication skills, I didn’t know what they meant by Joint attention or gestures ( I know I’m stupid) so I would say ‘no’ that he doesn’t do those things… even though judging by my son’s speech therapist and the psychologist and developmental ped that assessed him could see that he could do those things. So anyway, my son is going to have a second assessment and when they ask me questions, I want to make sure that I get it right. Here are a list of things that my son does.
1. Uses joint attention…. to much intact.. he would look at me..point.. and look at me to show me a thing he’s interested in i.e. this could be images in a book, showing me he’s drawing… showing em something he’s interested in etc etc.
2. My son has a speech delay
3. My son uses a lot natural gestures ( That I HAVE NOT TAUGHT HIM).. so this could be ” brushing his teeth” would be in gestures, using his fingers, showing his teeth and animating with his finger the motion to brush his teeth…..” wash hands” would be the two of his hands clamped together doing the motion of washing his hands…..” upset’ would be shrugging shoulders would be or folding arms. ” open” would be animating different ways with he’s hands to open with an object.
3. Plays toys appropriately and has good pretend/imaginary play skills i.e. flying helicopter or rocket, cooking, feeding baby etc.. although occasionally he would lie down sideways and build he’s blocks ( which is a concern
4. If he does not get what he wants this would go into a tantrum
5. doesn’t seem to understand patience some of the times *sigh*
6.Flaps arms when angry
7. Plays with kids and knows how to share
8.Has no routine issue whatsoever, but remembers the places which I treat him too e.g. Mcdonalds…toy stores and if we walk past these ” special treat stores” wants to go in *sigh again*
9.Toilet trained.. sleep is fine
10. Can be too hyperactive, running around ( which is tiring)
11. Always wants to play with me ( which can be annoying sometimes) this could be him making me want to out on our 3D glasses and him pointing to the mirror so that we can pull faces… our sleeping game, so he would gesture sleep, and I have to fake sleep and he would diliberalty make noise and I’ll have to wake up and tickle him…. also with games too.
12. Self care needs are advanced
13. Really good at imitating
14. Can be shy
15. seems to understand more, even though speech is limited
16. seems to always want my attention…through crying… wanting me to cuddle him… playing
17. Has a good sense of where I am, e.g say like if I am out of his sight, he would always look back to s where I am or where I have gone too.

I think the main thing for me is his tantrums, he may have an allergy too. Also, he is quite shy and does not show his true self to people.. most of the things have mentioned on this list..only me, his speech therapist, family and close friends have seen this side of him, to strangers he doesn’t open up easily which is sad. Anyway, does my list sound like he has autism and what concerns should I bring up to the psychologist?
@Alicia- Thanks for your comment, when actually listing things which my son does, autism sounds less and I am actually thinking that it could be ADHD..OR ADD.. his dad has said this, that it sounds like ADHD not autism. Although, It can be argued that the fact because he is speech delayed, this adds to frustration..if it is ADHD and not autism, I would be worried that it may result for him to take medication.. which I would not result too. I am aware that ADHD cannot be diagnosed under the age of 5.

admin answers:

Autism is the inability to understand other people as being people with their own wants, needs, and emotions. Something that three-year children also tend to be bad at. Like what has been said before, most of what you are describing sounds a lot like a normal three-year old. The speech doesn’t seem to be important, as your son seems to be able to communicate. Most children learn to talk well because baby talk just gets a “What did you say” response from adults, so children learn to enunciate so as to be understood and get what they want from adults. You’re sons gestures sound like he has found a way of getting out of having to talk properly (if you have ever learned a second language, then you would know how difficult this is). I am curious as to what what would happen if you refused to acknowledge his gestures and insist that he talk more to get what he wants.

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Question?: Autism Symptoms Toddler Boys

Chris asks…

Does my daughter have autism symptoms?

My 15 year old daughter has sensory processing disorder and she is alittle bipolar but just a little it isnt srious but we dont want it to get to that point since mmy husband has it . She gets very stressed easily and she doesnt lke standing in lines so people don have ther shoulders touching her and she is very sensitive to dirty hands and shes always walked on her toes since she was born. she was also diagnosed wth lyme disease as a toddler and we got that taken care of. but she also put her bottom jas over her top one and pushes down then makes a moaning cry for a moment and she sayd it reales stress. and every now and then she makes those noises wthout realizing it. she also crys about anything and cant have certain textures in food and doesnt like anyone breathing on or near her . she also gets frusrtrated when trying to work even if shes doing great . she is amazing at art she paints pictures like you wouldnt believe and she sings wonderful but when someone complments her, it isnt enough then shel have a tantrum. her self asteem s extremely low and she has been bullyed and tortured since kindergarten . she is absolutley gorgeous an hour glass figure and boys can be all over her but girls call her whore slut and completley trash her facebook and shes deleted it several times but i know she has depression and the school never does anything. i just want to know if she has autism symptoms mixed wth her sensory and bipolar and maybe this s making her stress levels high and causing problems for her . she also fails school and can never sit still shes always ditching class and her grades are all under 50 so i took her put of school for awhile to pick herself up. i took her out of one state because she was tortured and moved and she is really stressed out about the moved to and im just trying to look out for her.

admin answers:

It sounds like she really needs to get a comprehensive evaluation done by a competent person. That would give you ‘both’ peace of mind and help you get to the best way to find healing .
This guy tests for all kinds of things and is seen on PBS tv at times talking about the brain and health.
Amenclinics.com he tests for hormones, vitamins, minerals, even has SPECT scans and
is a neuropsychiatrist.
It would save you money in the long run to have it all done at once .
It sounds like she has several issues and yes it could be a degree of autism, but no one can diagnose over the internet, it has to be face to face with a trained professional.
Here is a good site for healing autism , questions, etc generationrescue.org.
Here is an effective method to help heal her past abuse and childhood feelings eftmasters.com
best wishes

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touched

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We are in the middle of a party. People are chatting, swimming, eating, laughing.

Brooke is sitting on a step stripping a stick.

This is what she does. She forages for bits and pieces of branches whose bark she can pull clean off, revealing the tender wood below the surface. Her fingernails dig into the soft bark again and again, then pull it back in chunks.

Someone walks over to our step to say hello. She bends at the waist, looming over Brooke.

Brooke doesn’t look up. She doesn’t stop stripping her stick.

Dig. Pull. Dig. Pull.

Our visitor reaches out a hand and cups it below Brooke’s chin.

I freeze. Oh God.

She uses the hand to pull Brooke’s head up by the jaw.

A thin line of panic starts somewhere deep. I know that Brooke is going to scream. 5,4,3,2 …

She does scream, but not in the way that I expect.

“I HATE BEING TOUCHED!!” she shouts.

I am flabbergasted.

Words. Self-awareness. Communication. Self-advocacy.

I know the sentence will need to be reformatted. But I am drenched in pride.

I turn to Brooke. “Great job telling us how you feel, Brooke. Really great job.” I hope that my words send a message to both of them. I stand with my girl.

Our visitor is undaunted.

“I just want to see that beautiful face,” she says. “Lift up for me.”

I am stymied by etiquette. By deference to our host. By generational difference. By convention.

Brooke is not.

She lifts her head as instructed. And growls.

On the way home, Katie points out an important distinction. ‘Brooke, you actually DO like being touched. Just not by people you don’t know. Cause if you didn’t want to be touched at all, then Mama couldn’t hug you. See?’

We spend the ride practicing.’Please don’t touch me. I don’t like when you do that.’

I remember being touched by strangers as a very small child. The pats on the head that brought my shoulders to my ears. It was like nails on a chalkboard. Violating. Patronizing. Wrong.

My daughter is not a very small child. She is nine years old. In two weeks she will be in fourth grade. She doesn’t interact the way one would expect a nine year-old to interact. She babbles. She talks about Blue’s Clues and Elmo. She is petite. She is slight. She peels sticks at parties. She is autistic.

She is nine years old.

She has every right not to be touched by strangers without warning. Or consent.

~

View the original article here

shopping purgatory

The shirt in the window

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I used to love shopping. And then I had a tween. #KillMeNow ~ My Facebook status yesterday afternoon

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Katie and I are at the mall doing some early back to school shopping. This summer she’s officially entered shopping purgatory – too sophisticated for children’s shops, too conservative (thank God) to be interested in most of the glittery, half-shirt and skinny jeans tween shops and still just not quite there when it comes to junior wear. She’s determined, however to establish a middle school style of her own, so we’re trying to come up with a new group of stores from which to put said style together. We walk by Hollister and I suggest giving it a try.

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She blanches – literally. “Mama,” she says, “I can’t.”

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The music pulsates from inside the store, surrounding us even where we stand, a good ten feet from the entrance.

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“Seriously, I can’t.”

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I take a deep breath. We already left three other stores because they were too loud. Or too chaotic. Or too crowded. And I’d tried not to show my relief when she’d asked to leave them. But Jesus, we’ve been at the mall for two hours and she hasn’t even tried anything on yet. Eventually, the kid needs to get some damned clothes. And from the looks of the adorable blouse in the window of this place, it has promise.

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“Sweetie,” I say, “I get it. I really, really do. But here’s the thing. We’ve got to work through this. And I know that you can.”

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She looks at me, wide-eyed. “Mama, it’s SO loud. It hurts my ears from here.”

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“OK,” I say, “then lets employ the strategies that we have for your sister. What would you tell her to do right now?”

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No, I’m not missing the irony here. Thought that’s not what it is, is it?

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“I’d tell her to cover her ears,” she says, her shoulders slumping.

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“Listen,” I say, “I know this is not going to be a pleasant place for you. Me either. But let’s frame this, OK? Let’s just say, “OK, we know this isn’t going to be fun, but we’re gonna take a deep breath and do what we need to do to get through it. We’ll see if they have that shirt in your size and if you like it, you can create an outfit around it.”

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She’s looking at me skeptically.

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“I’m not saying it’s going to be fun, Katie. I’m just saying we can plow through together. Cool?”

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“Cool,” she says with a shrug.

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She looks miserable.

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We clasp hands and walk in the door. It’s an immediate, full-on sensory assault. The music throbs through my chest and vibrates in my hair. The overpowering smell of cologne catches in the back of my throat. For a brief moment, I think I may gag.

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Katie covers her ears and leans into me. “Mama!” she yells over the music, “It’s hurting my ears to push so hard!” I show her how to cup her hands to block out the sound. “Mama!” she yells again, “It’s not working! It’s not enough!” She looks panicked. She looks like she’s going to cry.

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I can’t make her do this. I can’t do this. I would never make her sister do this. I drop the shirt in my hand and we all but run for the door.

~

The part of me left over from Before wants to be angry. The Before part wants to tell her to suck it up. It’s friggin music, kid. It’s the world. Wanna function in it, figure out how to work through it.

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The part of me from After knows better. Get her out of here. Get us both out of here. We’ll shop online. This isn’t helping anyone. Why did you try to push this in the first place? What were you trying to prove?

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The part of me from Somewhere-In-Between wants to fold her arms across her chest and sound smug as she says, “See? Now you know what your sister goes through. ALL THE TIME. Sucks, doesn’t it?”

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And the part of me That’s Doesn’t Want To Admit It has a hunch that she already knows.

;

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I hug my girl to my side and promise her that we’ll find the shirt online. We collect Luau and Brooke and get the hell out of the mall.

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Dolman/Delacato method

Dolman/Delacato method

Dolman and Delacato believe that children should learn to crawl or creep before learning to walk.

Three times a year, the Delacato Centre holds courses, which take place in January, May and September, and last for one week. Parents make an appointment to learn how to conduct the therapy at home.

In a study by Rimland and Edelson, 445 parents of autistic children who participated in the therapy reported seeing improvement in their children.

The Dolman/Delacato Method is also known as patterning. Advocates of this method view autism as being the result of a brain injury. The idea with this therapy is that in children with autism (and other disabilities) the brain can be taught to accept new experiences through patterns of movement. New pathways in the brain are forged by making the child crawl or move as children do at earlier developmental stages.

Prior to the therapy beginning, the child is assessed to determine which requirements must be met in his or her therapy sessions. Then, the child participates in therapy sessions lasting for an average of two hours per day, during which he or she performs exercises based on physiotherapy, occupational therapy, and education. The parents may carry out this therapy at home.

Advocates state they’ve seen results ranging from extremely successful to noticeably successful.

Success in the Dolman/Delacato Method rests on the shoulders of the parents. The more work the parents do with the child, the more success will be noticed. Parents who work extensively with the child will also see results more rapidly. It is claimed that within eight months from the beginning of the therapy, some children from ages 2-10 years old are re-classified as ‘high functioning.’ For children with more serious forms of ASD, benefits such as better eye contact, improved attention span, improved behavior, and better language skills are seen.

Tagged as: Dolman/Delacato method

View the original article here

Dolman/Delacato method

Dolman/Delacato method

Dolman and Delacato believe that children should learn to crawl or creep before learning to walk.

Three times a year, the Delacato Centre holds courses, which take place in January, May and September, and last for one week. Parents make an appointment to learn how to conduct the therapy at home.

In a study by Rimland and Edelson, 445 parents of autistic children who participated in the therapy reported seeing improvement in their children.

The Dolman/Delacato Method is also known as patterning. Advocates of this method view autism as being the result of a brain injury. The idea with this therapy is that in children with autism (and other disabilities) the brain can be taught to accept new experiences through patterns of movement. New pathways in the brain are forged by making the child crawl or move as children do at earlier developmental stages.

Prior to the therapy beginning, the child is assessed to determine which requirements must be met in his or her therapy sessions. Then, the child participates in therapy sessions lasting for an average of two hours per day, during which he or she performs exercises based on physiotherapy, occupational therapy, and education. The parents may carry out this therapy at home.

Advocates state they’ve seen results ranging from extremely successful to noticeably successful.

Success in the Dolman/Delacato Method rests on the shoulders of the parents. The more work the parents do with the child, the more success will be noticed. Parents who work extensively with the child will also see results more rapidly. It is claimed that within eight months from the beginning of the therapy, some children from ages 2-10 years old are re-classified as ‘high functioning.’ For children with more serious forms of ASD, benefits such as better eye contact, improved attention span, improved behavior, and better language skills are seen.

Tagged as: Dolman/Delacato method

View the original article here

Coping With Autism at Home

Having a child that is diagnosed with autism is not just hard for the parents but also for all members of the family. The parents, siblings and even grandparents have to share in the responsibility of supporting a child with special needs. Not only can it be financially draining and physically exhausting, but it can also be a source of emotional stress to everyone involved.

Naturally, the greatest weight is carried on the shoulders of the parents. To begin with, parents must cope with the deficits and excesses in behavior of an autistic child. Most autistic children cannot express verbally nor through gestures what they want, so parents are left with a constant guessing game as to what their child needs. Social life is also significantly sacrificed, as a child with autism might not be accepted or understood by other people, forcing at least one parent to stay with the child at home at all times. And there are also feelings of helplessness about the child’s future. It is heart wrenching for parents to imagine how their autistic child will be taken care of after they are gone.

Siblings of autistic children are stressed, too. It can be due to feelings of embarrassment for having a sibling that is not normal, they can also be stressing about being the target of aggression, or they can even have a feeling of envy for all the attention their autistic sibling is getting.

It Is OK To Take A Break

The reality of having a child diagnosed with autism is hard and full of challenges. But life does not have to be all stress. There are ways to de-stress and maintain a harmonious and loving family life. Parents need to give themselves a break from time to time. A parent might have feelings of guilt for leaving a special child behind, but a few hours of being away from him or her from time to time may offer the chance to recharge and regroup for the daily challenges ahead. Parents should not be afraid to ask for a little support from other family members, such as the child’s aunt or uncles or grandparents. They may look after the child for several hours a week to give the parents time off and take care of themselves. This will prevent parents from “burning out” and can be essential in keeping the family’s relationships strong.

Parents also need to spend quality time alone with their other non-ADS children, without the autistic child present. This reassures them and lets them know that the parents love them as much their other sibling, even if most of the attention is geared towards the one with special needs.

Remember, life with an autistic child is hard already, so there is no need to make life even harder for everybody else in the family. When times get tough… breathe. Taking a few hours off for yourself and for your other children is the best way to get you through the worst of it all. (Aviram, 2009)

References:

Aviram, J. (2009, August 12). Good Days and Bad Days: Seven Strategies to Cope. Retrieved March 18, 2011, from Parenting: http://www.autismathomeseries.com/library/2009/08/good-days-and-bad-days-seven-strategies-to-cope/.

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