Great way to put all of this. I too had days that I gave up, and would sit Josh in front of the TV. I think the only good that came out of that was that we had bought his “your baby can read”. My son is super smart ..and I give those movies credit. I couldn’t get him to make eye contact long enough to teach him anything, and I figured if he would pay attention to the TV, at least have him watch something where he could learn. Now at 3, he is top of his class, has doubled his test scores (which his teachers say they have never seen happen in their teaching career), and a SUPER happy kid! No, he isnt talking, but that doesnt bother me as much as it used to. As of two days ago, he finally gave me a kiss. Granted, I have forced affection on him since birth… but it is super cool to see him pucker.. especially when I say, can I have a kiss?
DAVID… hun, it breaks my heart to hear you say that. I know EXACTLY how you feel. My husband used to travel for work, and was gone pretty much the first year and a half of his life. I knew Josh (our son) was autistic from 6 months. My husband (Chris) didnt want to admit it. I could tell that it broke his heart. But now, as he seems how smart Josh is.. and all the cool things he CAN do.. he is soooo much better. Time heals all. Im not sure if you are a new dad to this, or just never came to terms with it. But Autism is a gift! God knew you could handle this, and thats why he picked you, and every one of us! I have been through A LOT in my life, and I mean A LOT… starting with losing my dad to a gang when I was 12. He was shot and killed on a golf course. And I won’t even get in to the rest of my life. But at first I was sooo mad at God.. and always scream “what next???” “all this crap I have gone throught, NOW you give me a child with Autism???? REALLY???” That is what I thought every day for over a year.
So you are not alone if you are mad at God! But like I said, God doesnt give us things he doesnt think we cant handle. If you need someone to chat with David, or anyone reading this for that matter, please feel free to look me up on Facebook.
I am ALWAYS open for new friends, especially in my autism circle 😉
MELISSALTERRY@GMAIL.COM of course it isnt in caps..but wanted people to see the L after the A. feel free to add me.. just let me know who you are 😉
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