Tag Archives: Obstacle

Question?: Autistic Angry Outbursts

David asks…

what should i do about my autistic boyfriend..?

Well, before you try and tell me I’m limiting myself don’t even bother I don’t care what you say to me i’m not leaving him! If your going to be mean then get off this question because if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.

I’m 15, turning 16 soon and my boyfriend is 17. He has a job, and I love him. He’s good looking, hes the whole package but he does have a few problems due to mild autism i guess? you wouldn’t be able to tell he’s slightly autistic by looking at him, but mentally there are a few flaws i wanted to talk about today…

if he says something or breaks something or does something i’m not happy with i might get a bit angry and/or annoyed like any other girlfriend would right? but he gets all scared and he crawls in a corner and won’t come near me unless i offer a cuddle or a kiss.. or if i just stand there he grabbed my leg and cuddles my leg… at first i thought this was adorable but now it’s starting to worry me slightly… i know i don’t get or look to angry so why does he get so scared? i’ve tried talking to him but it doesn’t help…

i mean, there are so many things i love about him, but there are also a few problems like this which are unusual…

any advice..?

heather? – don’t try and make it sound like i’m bothered. i’m “WORRIED”
kimmi, your missing the point that i am worried there is a deeper problem somewhere… for god sake i’m only 16 stop making me feel so guilty i’ve been there for him

admin answers:

Amy Rose, can I commend you, as another poster has also done so, in that you have been mature enough at this age to see past what some might see as an obstacle.

It seems like you have genuine feelings for this guy, you love him, and more importantly, you are smart enough to recognise an issue that needs attention, and you want to figure out how to work at it.

People with autism have problems with social interactions, and have difficulties controlling/reading emotions in the natural way that say you or I do. What that means, is that even the slightest bit of anger, may seem very scary to your boyfriend. He cannot pick up that you’re not being very angry, he just knows that something bad happened.

There could be an underlying issue from his past that could be causing him to behave in this way and maybe that is something that you could talk to him about.

I think the best advice I can give you, is to be completely 100 per cent direct with your boyfriend. If you are annoyed about something he does, stop and think if it is within his control or not. If it is something that you genuinely think he can prevent himself from doing, then it is worth discussing. But sometimes these outbursts can be a cause of lack of control in difficult situations so you do need to be very tactful. Speak to him directly about your concerns, what it is that annoys you, but just do your best to try not to be too negative, as that may affect his self esteem.

Good luck I really hope you work things out.

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Question?: Autistic Behavior

Mark asks…

How do I make my autistic son to understand that he cannot hit himself?

Whenever my son is punished for unacceptable behavior, he goes into his room and hits himself. His autism is very mild. He is high-functioning. His behavior is his biggest obstacle. He speaks very loudly. He talks back when he is told “no.” Is there anyone that is experiencing this? Does therapy help?

admin answers:

I know exactly what you are going through. I was exactly like that as a small child, and to some extent, I still am…lol
I’m high functioning autistic as well (Asperger’s Syndrome).
Maybe you could consult a child psychologist. I was diagnosed at age 13 (I’m 16 now) by a child psychologist, and have been seeing her regularly ever since. Autism is a social difference (I despise the use of the word ‘disorder’), so autistic kids don’t see social situations as most neurotipycals (‘normal’ people) do. My psychologist has worked through various social situations with me and is helping me understand how to fit in better with society. It can help later on in life if he starts learning about proper social behaviour at an early age.
Another good site to check out is http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com
It’s a forum for all people on the autism spectrum, and for parents of autistic kids. I’ve gained a tom of great advice from people there.
Hope that helped. =]

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Question?: Pdd

Carol asks…

What can you tell me about PDD: Pervasive Development Disorder? Especially the higher functioning end?

My son was a new preliminary diagnosis of PDD. They say that he is on the higher functioning end of the Autism Spectrum. What can you tell me about high functioning autism… and PDD?

admin answers:

I’d recommend researching some of the sources below, there is much available the biggest obstacle at times is weeding through all the information and identifying what is a reliable source. One must keep in mind that just because something is posted on the web it doesn’t make it right.

Also, if you want to investigate other syndromes that may mimic PDD-NOS don’t do so on a site not directly related to the condition. For example, don’t look for Information on Angelman Syndrome or Fragile X on an autism site – more often than not you’ll find the information inaccurate or out-of-date. On the other hand, I’ve also found information on reputable sites that aren’t always right (depends on the type of expert who writes the material). Your best bet is to seek out sites that are dedicated to specific conditions.

High-functioning will have a different meaning for each of us, and it will depend on the age of our children, how long we’ve had the diagnosis, our knowledge, our expectations.

Best advice I could give you is don’t get hung up on a label or a description of functioning. Every child is different, they each will have different strengths, recognize your child’s strengths and weaknesses and do everything you can to build on them.
I’ve included

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