Tag Archives: Marriage

Question?: Autistic Angry Outbursts

James asks…

Would it be a huge issue if your autistic child hates receiving discipline as if it were a sensory issue?

Would it be a huge issue if your child with autism had an issue with being disciplined. If a you or someone got angry with him or her, it would cause outbursts and panic as if the child has the ability to have stronger anger than yours or someone whoever gets hard on the child. Even if the child is scared into submission it would make things worse. Would getting angry, frustrated, upset and / or panicky whenever disciplined be a huge issue? It’s discipline which children hate and autistic children tend to hate it more than children. They would hate it so much, it would cause explosive meltdowns. IT would be as if children with autism don’t care who the boss is and would tend to have control over the boss no matter how authoritative.
Does your autistic child have this issue? How big of an issue is it? Do you get frustrated that disciplinary action will make things worse? Does it ruin your marriage having an autistic son with such an issue? Do you feel like your child will never learn?

admin answers:

My autistic child does have this issue to a degree.
I agree with the op that routine is very very much needed.
It does make it more challenging as some autistic children also have sensory issues. My son is hyposensitive (not sensitive enough) to pain and needing lots of pressure.
I’ve even come down to spanking him sometimes to get the point accross. (you know, for safety issues)
It is also difficult because autistic children don’t understand emotions really well. Sometimes I’ll have to tell my son quite clearly, “I am angry’ or I am NOT happy to tell him how I feel.. Or yell.. To communicate those emotions.
Sometimes I feel like my son will never learn, but I know he will .. Eventually. Over time, I have seen what my son used to do, but now doesn’t do a certain behavior anymore.
I wouldn’t say ‘ruin’ is the right word to describe a marriage with a special needs child in the mix. It definitely makes it more stressful, and a little bit more strain on a marriage. Just as you adapt to having a special needs child, you adapt to fit your son/daughter’s needs and adjust the time that is needed to spend on your child.

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Question?: Autism Signs In Older Children

Steven asks…

If two sons from a father have some form of autism, what is the liklihood of a third son having autism?

My husband has two sons from a previous marriage. One son has sensory intergration dysfunction and the younger son has Aspergers. My husband and I have a son together and I can’t find any information regarding whether or not this should be something we should watch for. His oldest son was diagnosed at age 2, his middle son was diagnosed at age 5. I really would like to know so we can diagnose the problem and get him the proper help if needed.

admin answers:

The incidence of a second child from the same parents also having autism is 4% compared to 1% of the general population…

Is there any other history of autism like signs on either side of the family (the father and his ex) they may help determine if its possibly more related to the father or the mother

I would suspect there is an increased chance of you child having autism–more than 1%, less than 4%

with rates so high its something to look out for even if there is no family history

if the autism components only came froom the father the risk would be 4%

if they only came from the mom, it would be 1%

if they came from both–it would depend on if you have any biologic components

how old is your son now? Diagnosis is the most important early on, it developmental screening. If your son in under 3 (in the US) call the state Early Intervention program and ask for an evaluation of his developmental skills (language, motor, social, etc) they do a better job than pediatricians…the actual eval should take about an hour–a doc does it in a few minutes

you can look up developmental milestones online and see if your son is meeting them…

It is not considered concerning until there at least a 25-33% delay in any area

REFERENCE AND REGULATION appears to be a lot like Greenspan’s DIR and also ‘Natural Environment Teaching’ and ‘Incidental Learning’ used in ABA…i have used what is described as R&R while using DIR//ABA

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Question?: Schizophrenia In Children

Chris asks…

What should I do or what measures should I take to avoid/control schizophrenia in my children.?

We are three brothers and one sister. One of my brothers (3rd among 4 sibs) is schizophrenic. I am married with one 5 years old daughter and I got married outside my family. One of my paternal uncle and 3 of my cousins from my three different paternal uncles also got schizophrenia but one of the cousin is doing fine now after treatment. But my brother has no chance of healing though he is getting treatment. My parents were not related in anyway before marriage.

admin answers:

Contrary to what some of the answers here have said THERE IS NO CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE THAT SCHIZOPHRENIA IS INHERITED! Some believe there is an inherited predisposition to getting it but I doubt it. Schizophrenia is not a single disorder but a spectrum of disorders. SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT and take steps to raise your children in a family atmosphere of Tender Loving Care (TLC), which will prevent a whole lot of trouble for them.

Good luck, good mental health, peace and love!

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The Day Autism Won – My Most Difficult Day Dealing With Autism

Top Tip: Just when you are about to give up. Don’t; It’s not your fault.

Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder. This was one of the hardest days of my life, and I am sure many more parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder will be able to relate to this story. Charlie was three years old, his ability to communicate was limited and he was always on the go. Two things I need to explain before this story begins. Firstly: it took Jane and I two years to fully accept that Charlie would always be different. For that period of time our marriage was tumultuous and the pressure was extreme. Secondly: I hated driving in the car when it was just Charlie and me. Charlie always took his aggression out on me. The car can be a volatile and dangerous place when you have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

From the onset of the Autism diagnosis, Jane had become very emotional and, in my opinion, unreasonable and argumentative. On this particular day I had a row with Jane, she was doing my head in. It was my first Sunday off in ages and some minute issue had erupted into a major deal between Jane and I. Jane wanted to be left alone so I put Charlie in the car and decided to drive 70 miles to my mother’s house. This break would give Jane and I, the space we needed. Within five minutes of driving, the traffic came to a standstill; cars were gridlocked, taking 20 minutes to move one mile, Charlie was beginning to get very cross and agitated. I was doing all I could to reason with Charlie, I could only liken the car to a pressure cooker. An hour later we started moving, just in time to save me from blowing a fuse. Then Charlie threw a metal Thomas the Tank Engine at my head (it just missed me and hit the windscreen). I tried to ignore it but couldn’t I was getting really annoyed. I drove a little further down the motorway then I felt the back of my seat starting to go down. Charlie was pushing the mechanism with his foot. I asked him nicely to stop but he kept it up, he knew I was stressed to bits and was acting up. I was on a motorway, travelling at a speed of 70 miles an hour with the backrest of my seat going horizontal and a whingeing, ungrateful, unresponsive, Autistic child in the back seat. I finally cracked.

I pulled the car to the side of the motorway, straightened up the seat, and asked Charlie to stop annoying me; all the while I was using as many profanities as were in my vocabulary. I turned the car around and drove home nearly in tears. Twenty minutes later I walked into the house. Jane hadn’t known what had happened and was still in a bad mood with me, I started to talk but she was still annoyed. I didn’t want to stay in the house because of the atmosphere so I decided to bring Charlie for a walk up to the mountains, we did this fairly regularly (I felt I needed to clear the air with Charlie first before I tackled Jane). Charlie was wearing a nice pair of trousers and he had a new pair of trainers on, so I decided we would walk on the pathway. When I got to our usual walking haunt Charlie jumped out of the car and headed up the track. I asked him not to go near the muddy puddles because he would need his trainers in the morning to go to the play group. Charlie looked at me with that evil look then ran straight into a huge puddle; he then picked up a piece of rope and wrapped it around his legs. I was distraught; he purposely did it to upset me even more. I had to give up again for the second time that day. We walked straight back to the car; he stood in dogs dirt on the way back and unintentionally wiped it all over the back seat. This was the nearest I have ever been to self destruction. Why me God? What did I do to deserve this? Will it ever end? I went home, Jane and I talked, Charlie and I made up and from that day on I had a new healthy respect for the monster they call Autism.

My Name is Peter Devlin, my website is Autisminireland, Here is the URL http://www.autisminireland.com/ I have an 11 year son Charlie, he has Autism. I am now an expert on Autism. The journey has been tough, extremely tough. I have decided to write a series of short stories about how I managed to beat Autism and sometimes how Autism managed to beat me. Have a look at Charlie’s pictures they are amazing. Send me your stories, and lets educate together.My website has a multitude of stories and helpful hints about Characteristics of autism and traits pertaining to Autism Spectrum Disorder.

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