Tag Archives: Discipline

Question?: Autistic Angry Outbursts

James asks…

Would it be a huge issue if your autistic child hates receiving discipline as if it were a sensory issue?

Would it be a huge issue if your child with autism had an issue with being disciplined. If a you or someone got angry with him or her, it would cause outbursts and panic as if the child has the ability to have stronger anger than yours or someone whoever gets hard on the child. Even if the child is scared into submission it would make things worse. Would getting angry, frustrated, upset and / or panicky whenever disciplined be a huge issue? It’s discipline which children hate and autistic children tend to hate it more than children. They would hate it so much, it would cause explosive meltdowns. IT would be as if children with autism don’t care who the boss is and would tend to have control over the boss no matter how authoritative.
Does your autistic child have this issue? How big of an issue is it? Do you get frustrated that disciplinary action will make things worse? Does it ruin your marriage having an autistic son with such an issue? Do you feel like your child will never learn?

admin answers:

My autistic child does have this issue to a degree.
I agree with the op that routine is very very much needed.
It does make it more challenging as some autistic children also have sensory issues. My son is hyposensitive (not sensitive enough) to pain and needing lots of pressure.
I’ve even come down to spanking him sometimes to get the point accross. (you know, for safety issues)
It is also difficult because autistic children don’t understand emotions really well. Sometimes I’ll have to tell my son quite clearly, “I am angry’ or I am NOT happy to tell him how I feel.. Or yell.. To communicate those emotions.
Sometimes I feel like my son will never learn, but I know he will .. Eventually. Over time, I have seen what my son used to do, but now doesn’t do a certain behavior anymore.
I wouldn’t say ‘ruin’ is the right word to describe a marriage with a special needs child in the mix. It definitely makes it more stressful, and a little bit more strain on a marriage. Just as you adapt to having a special needs child, you adapt to fit your son/daughter’s needs and adjust the time that is needed to spend on your child.

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Question?: Autism Signs 2 Year Old

Chris asks…

how do you deal with unruly children?

their not mine, but i have them all the time. their mother is a single mother that lets them get away with any and everything. the oldest is 4 the other is 2. the 4 year old doent talk to me, or mind and the 2 year old listens, but when i get on to him he bashes him head on thing. what do i do ?

admin answers:

They aren’t behaving like that because they are from a single parent family, they are behaving like that because they apparently have no discipline. I teach preschool and I see kids from two parent families act like that all the time. The Head Banging is most likely an anger issue, he isn’t liking being told no. I wouldn’t worry too much about it…..he isn’t going to bang his head hard enough to hurt himself…..if it hurts he is going to stop, unless he is suffering from a mental illness….which could cause him to not have the stop reaction when he does something that causes pain. I would just lay down the rules with both of them, stick to them like glue, and have consequences if they aren’t following the rules. They are kids and you can’t expect complete compliance, but you can expect them to follow basic rules and to listen. If the four year old throws a toy….give him a warning…if you throw the toy again I am going to put it away. If he throws it again, put it away…he will likely throw a tantrum…but he will survive. Be consistent. Too many parents are too busy working and trying to do normal everyday things like laundry/cooking/etc to parent the way that they need to.

I would talk to mom and let her know that you will not tolerate the behavior and that you are laying down some rules. If she doesn’t like it she can be free to find another sitter, although by the sounds of it, that may be difficult.

I would also suggest that she may want to have both children evaluated for developmental delays/Learning disabilities. A four year old child who doesn’t talk (does he talk at home?) is a huge autism flag…..the not listening would go right along with that. Head banging can also be a sign of problems. It would be a good idea for them to be evaluated.

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