Tag Archives: Cuddle

Question?: Autistic Angry Outbursts

David asks…

what should i do about my autistic boyfriend..?

Well, before you try and tell me I’m limiting myself don’t even bother I don’t care what you say to me i’m not leaving him! If your going to be mean then get off this question because if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.

I’m 15, turning 16 soon and my boyfriend is 17. He has a job, and I love him. He’s good looking, hes the whole package but he does have a few problems due to mild autism i guess? you wouldn’t be able to tell he’s slightly autistic by looking at him, but mentally there are a few flaws i wanted to talk about today…

if he says something or breaks something or does something i’m not happy with i might get a bit angry and/or annoyed like any other girlfriend would right? but he gets all scared and he crawls in a corner and won’t come near me unless i offer a cuddle or a kiss.. or if i just stand there he grabbed my leg and cuddles my leg… at first i thought this was adorable but now it’s starting to worry me slightly… i know i don’t get or look to angry so why does he get so scared? i’ve tried talking to him but it doesn’t help…

i mean, there are so many things i love about him, but there are also a few problems like this which are unusual…

any advice..?

thanks
heather? – don’t try and make it sound like i’m bothered. i’m “WORRIED”
kimmi, your missing the point that i am worried there is a deeper problem somewhere… for god sake i’m only 16 stop making me feel so guilty i’ve been there for him

admin answers:

Amy Rose, can I commend you, as another poster has also done so, in that you have been mature enough at this age to see past what some might see as an obstacle.

It seems like you have genuine feelings for this guy, you love him, and more importantly, you are smart enough to recognise an issue that needs attention, and you want to figure out how to work at it.

People with autism have problems with social interactions, and have difficulties controlling/reading emotions in the natural way that say you or I do. What that means, is that even the slightest bit of anger, may seem very scary to your boyfriend. He cannot pick up that you’re not being very angry, he just knows that something bad happened.

There could be an underlying issue from his past that could be causing him to behave in this way and maybe that is something that you could talk to him about.

I think the best advice I can give you, is to be completely 100 per cent direct with your boyfriend. If you are annoyed about something he does, stop and think if it is within his control or not. If it is something that you genuinely think he can prevent himself from doing, then it is worth discussing. But sometimes these outbursts can be a cause of lack of control in difficult situations so you do need to be very tactful. Speak to him directly about your concerns, what it is that annoys you, but just do your best to try not to be too negative, as that may affect his self esteem.

Good luck I really hope you work things out.

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Question?: Autism Signs In 15 Month Old

Susan asks…

Does your 12 month old cuddle and hug you?

My son only sometimes puts his head on my chest. He is always so busy! The only time he really wraps his hands tight around my neck is when he is feeling cautious (like I am putting him in the tub)

I worry he is delayed. He doesn’t speak yet either, although he does babble, he doesn’t really understand if I say “where is daddy” Part of that may be because we speak 3 languages at home.

He is a smiley boy who is always happy to see me and gives kisses and imitates sounds we make

I get really worried about autism

admin answers:

My guys just turned 13 months and started putting their arms up to be picked up. They didn’t do it at 12 months. They climb up on me when scared or just because and grab onto me, but don’t really technically hug.

They just started signing “milk”, and although Vaughn said “thank you” on and off for awhile, it is mostly off these days.

Sounds to me like your son is normal. The boy I nannied said his first word “choo-choo” at 14 months, and then said mama and dada the next week. He was perfectly normal.

12 months is the average time to say a first word. Average means 50% say a word then, and 50% don’t. Don’t worry about it til 15 months or so. In the meantime, do sign language. Babies / toddlers can learn it sooner then they can spoken words.

Nothing you said there says autism. It says “normal 12 month old”. If he doesn’t advance in the next 3-4 months, check back.

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Communicating With Autistic Siblings

Autism communication:

Astonishingly up to 50 percent of autistic children will never develop speech, whilst the others will develop some form of early communication skills.

However, kids with autism rarely engage in effective communication.

When we think of speech – language; we are referring to a body of words, the formations of sounds, as well as the structures and forms used to construct speech. 

Communication on the other hand can occur either verbally through speech or non-verbally through the use of spoken words, gestures, signs, or by pointing to printed words or symbols.

Thus communicating with autistic siblings effectively, we must firstly be able to understand why we need to communicate with others, have the desire to communicate, have somebody to communicate with, have something to communicate about, and have a means of expressing ourselves.

As children develop, they begin to explore their environment and start to understand the cause and effect around them. For example when they are thirsty they can point to the fridge or a cup…When they are wanting a cuddle or are tired they may raise both hands to picked up.

With autistic children – autism communication, sometimes this inquisitiveness is missing, the lack of interest in their surroundings and the lack of effective eye contact make learning communication very difficult.

By the time a non-verbal autistic child starts school, they may already have seen a speech therapist to establish a program to aid with the development of effective communication. The speech therapist will need to determine some appropriate objectives and goals, a base level of communication will be established by carefully observing the child within the school setting. 

In certain cases it may be necessary for the autistic child to learn a new form of communication. For example the child may cry or scream when they need something and this is their form of communication. But this is not going to be effective in a classroom full of children. There fore new forms of communication will need to be established.

Social skills stories can be used as a form of autism communication…for communicating with autistic siblings.

Autism social stories are short but descriptive pieces of text with appropriate pictures and images to support the story – or instruction. So for example if the new skill is to help the autistic child understand the need for quiet reading at school, the appropriate autism social story would be selected and implemented.

The autistic social skills story will pictorially show as well as the text the reason why the children are expected to be silent, who is expecting them to be silent and why also the consequence of not being quiet and the consequent or reward for being quiet.

Autistic children tend to be visual learners, which is why studies have shown that autism social stories are an excellent aid in developing good foundations for behavior and social skills for autistic children and adults.

As well as excellent tools for helping develop communication skills.

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