How can I help an adult friend who I think has Asperger’s?
I have a male adult friend who exhibits many of the signs of Asperger’s. He is pushing people away, even people who are nice to him and try to be his friend because he thinks that everyone else is the problem not him. I have tried to bring up a subject that could lead to a talk about his symptoms. The problem is that he wants so badly to be “normal” that he won’t listen. He is turning the very few friends he has away from him, and I really want to help. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
I have High Functioning Autism which is a lot like Aspergers. Aspergers is a part of the autism spectrum of disorders. All the symptoms you mentioned can be part of the Aspergers life experience. Aspergers requires that you manage your insecurities at least enough so that your life outside your home will not be adversely affected. I have no problem reverting to my less than socially acceptable form when I am in my home alone. At home alone who is going to be offended by any of my autism inspired behaviors that others in neurotypical society find objectionable.
If you are weak then that’s a choice. Do not confuse weakness for meekness. I am meek which means I do everything in my power to avoid social situations because, socially I am totally utterly and hopelessly retarded, something I not ashamed of at all. You are right if you walk through life so afraid of life in this scary neurotypical world you do not understand this worlds predators and parasites will smell your fear and mark you as prey.
I too hate the feel of clothing against my body. I like clothing more than I like the feel of another person I do not know and trust touching me. You are letting what other people in this world think drive you crazy. I always tell my autistic and asperger’s friends stop trying to be the perfect neurotypical because you will never achieve that goal.
You are working too hard at trying to make other people happy. The people you are trying to make happy will never understand your challenges as a person with Aspergers so they will never be happy with you. Accept it my brother you share life with me on the autism spectrum of disorders and you despite all your best efforts will NEVER be seen as normal no matter how hard you try.
You must learn to love yourself. You see you will never perceive, understand, experience and respond to this world the way someone who is neurologically typical will. The very best you will be able to do as a person with aspergers will be attempting to be as close an approximation of a neurotypical as your gifts, talents and insights allow. If you spend your entire life trying to be everything neurotypicals and institutions want you to become you will go mad, you will live in a prison of your own making.
You have aspergers. Lots of people with Aspergers have OCD and if you do then your job is made harder because you likely have perfectionist tendencies. Asperger’s is a form of autism some people say it is mild but those people likely never lived life with Aspergers. Here is a webpage you might like. Http://www.aspergers.com/ This webpage supplies you with some basic insights into aspergers.
You have a serious problem with being held prisoner by what other people say. You are so caught on what others say because, your innate understanding of this neurotyical world is so spotty or non-existant. I know the feeling of being lost in this world because, I was in the prison of depending on what others said to define my place in the world for 38 of the worst years of my life. For 38 years I was a puppet to what everyone and everything said was right because, autism left me lacking the understanding to make sense of this strange world myself.
Eventually my life was in the toilet because, I was so confused by whatever often conflicting things others told me was right I just shut down. I stopped eating, got physically and mentally sick. In time I grew extremely violent almost killing a man. It was not until I was looking up from this pit of despair in my heart that I realized that I needed to engage this world on my terms and not care about what others felt about my autism inspired weirdness. I had nmany of the same issues you have now and I learned to manage them such that they do not prevent me living a happy life.
Am I normal heck no. Am I a social butterfly nope. Am I someone’s prey no I am my own man. I am strong. I am still weird but I let my more ugly werewolf like raging socially unacceptable side out at night in the privacy of my home where there are no neurotypical polite sensibilities to offend. No my life is not perfect and certainly not normal but I am happy. When you have autism or aspergers you won’t have anormal life so forget about it. Strive to have a happy life and that’s you will live well, successfully with great hope, expectations and love for all in life that what matters most.
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